Some experiences with Dutch hand-rolling tobacco, Part 1

Mmmmmm.....

I can taste it. Smell it. Feel it.

A certain brand of Dutch handrolling tobacco, or "shag". (No brands mentioned here - they ain't paying me to advertise)

I preferred the light version, which wasn't as widely available. The regular, popular strength was too much for me to handle in the frequency in which I smoked, especially since you roll it yourself. I realized later that filters were available that you could roll into them, but it seems like too much of a pain in the arse.

A lot of people go for the packs of loose tobacco claiming that it's cheap to roll your own. I don't know about that. Maybe if you buy those cans of that throat scorching stuff. I do know you always run out of rolling papers and have to buy more. A lot of them tear during rolling, or get used or borrowed for...other things.

But, besides being cheaper, I used to tell myself that hand rolling would slow down my intake. The process would make it more difficult to light up in the car. Taking the time to meticulously roll up a fag would kill a few precious moments of the day that would add up and somehow bump a cig or 2 out of my daily intake.

Ah, the self delusion of the hopeless smoker.

I got so good at hand rolling, that I could do it while driving. I got as good and fast at it as I did sitting still. People told me about professional stoners who gained enough experience points to be able to roll a joint with one hand. Well, I always needed two hands for this, but still, very fast and accurate. I think I would do the actual pinch-rolling with one hand, but the prepacking and the post licking require two hands. The forearms pressed against the steering wheel, which actually provided more stable steering than the 1 hand of said pro-stoners.

I recall rolling one while driving and changing lanes on a sharp turning freeway offramp, leading onto a steep and trafficky bridge. Doesn't sound as dangerous here, but I remember being impressed with myself.

Another memory I have from the same offramp and bridge was having a coughing fit. I coughed and hacked uncontrollably. The thing about the smoker's cough is that you cough and cough, until enough phlegm gets into a certain area of the throat, causing you to gag.

This fit was so hard that I coughed until I gagged and gagged until I threw up. While driving.
Now I can't remember if I a) puked a little on my jacket and had to take it off, b) puked on my lap and had to borrow some shorts and possibly a shirt from my buddies whom I was on my way to visit. or c) puked and filled my own mouth, and was forced to swallow the disgusting bile flavored vomit.

I'm convinced it was b).