Snotgurgle

I have a coworker who is a smoker. Occasionally she'll ask me if I still haven't broken down and smoked a cigarette. When I tell her "yep" (it's true), she says, "Why, you little sh*t!"

I know she's saying it playfully, and my reaction isn't really smug. I always add something about it being rough, etc.

She wishes she could quit, and has tried many times. I'm not judging her for it, because I'm still amazed that I was able to free myself from the lash, and stay so for this long. I remember she briskly walked through the office, announcing, "I'm gonna quit smoking! I've got the patches and everything!"

Of course within 3 or 4 days, she was right back to puffin' GPC's on her breaks.

She started smoking at an earlier age than me, and she's a grandmother in her early 50's.

I don't know, but I imagine there is not much motivation to quit at that point in life. Alot of people take the opportunity of having to quit when they're pregnant. The expectant father may take the opportunity as well, despite not having the direct imperative. It's almost like having someone with whom to make a pact.

Many resume at some point - even years - after the child is born. Others try to muster the motivation again when they become grandparents.

Well, this women has had 4 kids. Now 2 of those kids have kids of their own. One of those kids is coming of age, and will probably fall in the grand tradition of getting knocked up at around 17.

Maybe she'll muster the strength when she becomes a great grandmother before she turns 60.

But until then (getting to the real reason I logged in to type this entry), I will have to suffer the effects of hearing her cough.

I'm talking about a certain kind of cough, here. Not the loud, intense, violent hacking fits where you think the person is going to choke and die. We (ex)smokers have all had plenty of those. There are actually a few different classifications of coughs I hear from her lungs, but the one I'm focused on is like an almost-cough. It's not always that tickle in the throat, triggering a hacking fit. Sometimes...well really often actually...there is just a rising of phlegm in the throat. I can hear it.

If it was a dude, and it was outdoors or something, he would just hock up a big-ass wad of phlegm and spit a loogie with a loud, self-satisfying whhhh-thoop! But this is a woman in the workplace. So she does this kind of half-cough. I can clearly hear the phlegm gurgle in her throat. I can feel it gurgling in her throat. And then I experience a gag reflex. And it happens so regularly that when it's not happening, I occasionally just remember hearing it, and gag.

Ugh. But, see, I myself used to be a perpetual phlegm generator. I coughed all the time, and had plenty of mucus of my own to eject.

So, although I cringe and gag whenever I hear phlegm gurgling in this woman's throat every day, it is an effective reminder. It makes me roll my eyes, close them, and acknowledge to myself just how f'ing good it is to be free of smoking, however long my abstinence endures.