Week 7: C+

Today is Day 45.

I still haven't given in.

But the impulses are still there, albeit with decreased frequency. There have even been a couple of occasions within the past 2 weeks, where I've said it aloud, "F**k, I wanna smoke a cigarette!!" That's probably normal for any abstinent addict to say. But for me, I don't want to smoke a cigarette; I just want the craving to subide. But these times, I did. I wanted to actually suck that carcinogenic smog through a vestigial filter...so...badly.

This passes soon enough.

But I have not been without failure.

Two days ago marked the beginning of Week 7. The significance of the 7th week is that, in accordance to the instructions accompanying the nicotine lozenges, I am to cut back on my dosage. What was 1 lozenge every 1 to 2 hours should now be 1 every 3-4 hours.

I have failed to make this adjustment. I still have one every 2 hours, on average. This only reinforces the notion that I have merely traded my medium, and my addiction remains.

To make an A+, I think I would have had to quit cold turkey, permanently, with no nicotine replacement therapy. I think I'm doing pretty well, but if I give myself a B, then I won't feel any need to work on my deficiency.

C+