Man, I cannot imagine what it would be like without nicotine replacement products.
Like all smokers, I've experienced irritability when going on a stretch without a smoke. But it seems to be getting worse.
Here in week 2 of cig' abstinence, I'm finding myself stricken suddenly with pangs of anger. Out of nowhere, I will snap into an extremely irritable state. I will ruthlessly curse some absent scapegoat; invoking unforgivable, descriptive names for whoever has virtually stepped in my path.
For example, at work I may receive an email from someone. The message may contain an attachment that I am expected to do something with. If there is something wrong with the attachment, or I experience the slightest detail, I haul off in a rage of epithets. "You....f**king...A**hole! God damn your heart and soul to Hell, you f**king piece of sh*t!!!!" But it gets worse, or better depending how you look at it; much more harsh criticism / more creative insults.
Luckily, I suppress the urge to hit the reply button and start typing! I settle for muttering these things to myself, like Popeye the Sailor. But occasionally, my volume rises, and body gestures grow convulsed and more indicative of a volatile state.
I do sometimes wonder how far and clear my voice carries when I am in the throes of such spells of irritability; if any of the words hissing through my teeth were discernible by a coworker - especially a female - I could be fingered for "creating a hostile work environment."
Obviously, if I wasn't able to catch myself from actually directing my words at a present human being, I would lose my job on the spot. I really have to be careful.
So, for those people I hear about that quit "cold turkey," I salute you. Because for myself, being caught without some form of nicotine replacement at this point could land me in jail for assault, or the hospital for an assault that I provoked (via my own verbal assault) upon myself!
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